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I'm Lia. This is my Hodgkin's journey.

Channeling My Inner Healing Vibes (#5)

6/10/2019

13 Comments

 
Hello, amazing people.

The wait is over. I'm writing this from the bustling chemotherapy treatment center. I am being pumped with pre-meds before I'll be given my life-saving drugs for the third time. It's absolutely bonkers that four drugs are the difference between my life and death. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a newfound sense of gratitude and admiration for everyone in the medical field. 

Now that I have two of these joyous treatments under my belt, I am a pro. I fist-bumped the cheerful receptionist,  I have my assortment of snacks and books ready at hand, and they know my smoothie order from the hospital cafe. 
​
The title of this blog post is quite literally my mantra of the day. Before departing to the treatment center this morning, I warned Brian that today would be unlike the last two sessions. I am pleased to report that in the last couple weeks there have been two instances that have validated the effectiveness of the chemo: 1) I can no longer feel the lymph node on my neck, and 2) my back pain has significantly decreased to the point of no return. Before you jump for joy, I want to reiterate that this does not necessarily mean that all of my cancer is gone (although it's possible!). However, it undeniably alludes that positive progress is being made.

A month ago I had the pleasure of connecting with a wonderful girl who was also diagnosed with Hodgkin's around the same time as me. After learning her chillingly similar story, I can certainly say that I am in awe of her confidence and poise. She is positive that her cancer will be gone by her next PET scan. She has unmistakably motivated me to seize some of my inner courage and channel it towards my healing. 

Before today's chemo session I asked Brian not to bring anything that would normally keep him busy for the few hours of treatment.  This is how it went down:
Me: "Today we are going to channel my inner healing vibes during chemo so don't bring anything with you."
Brian: "Uh. Sure babe sounds good. What does that mean exactly?" 

Something that I will never take for granted is Brian's open mind and ability to adapt to the various peculiar situations that I drag him into. After he confusedly asked what I meant by "inner healing vibes," I pulled some bullshit out of thin air and explained that, through my various meditation and Reiki classes, I've learned the extent to which our minds are so powerful. Before you think I'm a kook, I want to make it clear that I do believe in science and the power of medicine. In spite of that, I also believe in the power of words, meditation, and positive thoughts. Our mind is undoubtedly one of the most powerful and complex organs, and various studies have analyzed the relationship between positivity and treatment outcomes. I would be an idiot if I didn't give this a try. 

Fast forward to now. Brian and I are making a clear-cut attempt to sing a variety of 'healing chants' in the treatment center. Yes, the grannies are staring. No, I'm not going to stop. Here is a list of the chants that we've made up on a whim. Pretty creative if I do say so myself. 
- "Pain pain go away come again another day"
- "Don't stop the heaaaaling. Hold on to that feeeeeling"
- "Woaaah reclining in a chair. Pump my meds and we'll make it I swear"
​- "Sweet Hodgkin's. Bad times never seemed so good"

If this isn't love then I don't know what is.
​
So, I am going to sing off key and welcome the chemo into my veins with open arms. I am going to feel like crapola in a couple hours once the medicine weasels its way through my body, but I'm not resentful and I'm certainly not scared. I have high hopes that this third chemo session will kill more cancer cells, and maybe, just maybe, it will finish the job. Once the fatigue subsides in a few days, I'll be able to regain my strength and assess the progress. I look forward to updating you all. 

Once again I want to thank you for reading my blog and for leaving the most uplifting comments. I also want to let you know that I added a new page to my website titled "Video Updates" where I will be posting videos about my progress. Check it out at your leisure.

Peace out. Until next time. 
Picture
All my love,
Lia 
13 Comments
Mom
6/10/2019 07:14:22 pm

How lucky were you to have a private music therapy session and a wonderful foot message/reflexology lesson? Your inner healing vibes gods were definitely present today! I love you <3

Reply
Emma
6/10/2019 07:30:17 pm

As a mom of two who not too long ago went through
Stage 4 breast cancer, I am so in awe of how you are dealing with this at such a young age. The power of self talk for sure is incredible. Also, if you feel improvement, that for sure means it is working!!! I said the same thing after my second round and after my 4th had a pet scan and it was gone! I am certain that if you keep up the positive attitude and self talk, this will happen. Lia, you are amazing and once this is over (and it will be), you will come out on the other side stronger than ever!

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Jeanie Flewell
6/10/2019 07:43:12 pm

What an inspiring blog you are creating. Glad to hear the lump is going down and that your mind and spirit are so positive. Warm thoughts and know that you are in my mind. Peace out😉

Reply
Maribel
6/10/2019 08:26:38 pm

The more I read, the more I’m inspired by you. You are wise way beyond your years. We love you.

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Cheryl McDermott
6/10/2019 09:07:23 pm

I also believe in positive thinking. Your warriors are fighting with you. Keep up that beautiful attitude, it is working!! Lia, you a such beautiful girl inside and out. Hope the "icky" feeling doesn't last long. Looking forward to more good updates. Continuing to pray and sending healing thoughts. <3

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Joan Pearlman
6/10/2019 09:40:20 pm

Save all this. You will be able to publish this in the future. Stay strong,Lia.

Reply
Amy Child Life Specialist CSH
6/10/2019 10:24:00 pm

Lia,
We miss you at CSH and having you as a volunteer with the kids in evening recreation group. We are all thinking of you and rooting for you. You are so strong! Love your blog and positive vibes.
Sending lots of happy thoughts and prayers your way. Please feel free to reach out if you need anything at all. We are here for you always.

Reply
Dad
6/11/2019 11:22:37 am

Lia you made me laugh, I wish I were there yesterday to hear you and Brian singing! I'm going to the next chemo day. Good song choices. Actually all of your posts make me either laugh, smile, and then also get amazed because you show how tough you are. I'm so proud of you and the way you are fighting this on so many levels. I love you so much and will support you in every way possible.

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Luanne
6/11/2019 01:40:49 pm

Lia,
The love you’re spreading is being felt near and far. God puts people in our lives to show us how it’s done. You are one of those gifts He has given us!
Love you so much!!

Reply
Sierra James
6/11/2019 05:16:57 pm

Oh Lia, you never fail to make me smile 💛 This is absolutely amazing. YOU are absolutely amazing!!! Something I actually love doing is practicing Yoga and after reading this, I'm definitely going to do some Yoga in the park today 🤗 thank you so much for this! I need to go channel my inner healing vibes today 🌻🌈 Thank you so much for being who you are and never letting that sunshine burn out even when you've felt like it. Keep shining so bright and saying the biggest "FUCK YOU" to Hodgin's because you are refusing for cancer to take you down and I love that so so so much!!! 😭 One day at a time always beautiful!! 😘 Love you forever always bby! 💌🌞

Reply
Barbara
6/11/2019 07:49:09 pm

Lia you are an inspiration to so many people. You are a gift from God that keeps on going and going! Love you, Barbara

Reply
Amelia
6/12/2019 08:09:36 pm

You are amazing!! We are all in your corner, sending our best, most positive vibes. I know two three year olds who are eagerly awaiting your smile in our house. We miss you! Hope to catch up soon-

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Barbara Schwemmer
6/18/2019 12:45:42 pm

Lia, you are an inspiration to all. You are so lucky to have Brian and you great family to encourage you. I love reading your blog. Would love to get together with you when you come to see the Ashton’s.

Keep up the good work being positive. I pray for everyday. Love, Barbara

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    Hi, I'm Lia. I have Hodgkin's lymphoma, but Hodgkin's lymphoma does not have me.

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